Is that Baby Mvelo

Baby Mvelo kidnappers unmasked

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Baby Mvelo Khoza has been missing for over two harrowing weeks during which her parents went to the brink on insanity, at least one of them did.

In the last instalment of Rewind Mzansi, Goodness Mabuza (real name Zenande Mfenyana) had suffered a mental breakdown and shot at her baby daddy, Kagiso, whom she accused of stealing her baby. Thanks to her poor aim, the sort of poor shooting which got her father Goldfinger killed, Goodness missed Kagiso at point blank range.

Goodness recovers from breakdown

After Goodness fired her pistol and Kagiso dived behind his dining chair, ex boyfriend Shaka got up to stop her from harming anyone. But she turned the gun on him too. Isn’t that just great. The two brothers who took turns to sleep with Goodness also taking turns to dodge her bullets! Goodness wasn’t listening to Shaka’s plea for calm. She just wanted her baby back.

As Goodness held the Khoza family hostage, at their own dinner table, the quick thinking Noma (real name Brenda Ngxoli) snuck away from the room. When she returned, she carried a baby seat. Here’s your baby she said. Goodness lowered her gun and cuddled her returned… doll.

Goodness’ mind was so far gone that she had bonded with the doll which the Baby Mvelo kidnappers had used to mock the Khozas. After Goodness accepted her phony baby, bloodshed was averted.

The Khoza family GP put her down, not put her down like the SPCA does to stray dogs. Dr Makhubela (real name Tonderai Chiyindiko) gave her a sedative which put her to sleep. Although putting her down in the SPCA way sounds like a good idea too considering she almost killed Kagiso. She fell asleep with the counterfeit Baby Mvelo next to her. Hours later, when Goodness woke up, she saw the doll and flung it away. She apologized to Kagiso for acting like some children played with her brain and replaced it the wrong way round. She was back to her old self.

Baby Mvelo kidnappers get more cash

The Baby Mvelo kidnappers had demanded a further R20,000,000 – as if the Khozas have a printing machine in their garage. After running around to get more money, Harriet and family came up with nothing, which just goes to show that drug dealers know nothing about investments and savings. But Goodness announced that she had R20,000,000 on her. It was the money from her mother’s life insurance policy – remember Gracious who died over a man in bright pyjamas. Plus she had also sold the Blue Moon Lounge which belonged to Gracious, who died over a married man in a clown suit.

Shaka and Kagiso went to meet the kidnappers. They were wired for sound so that they could communicate like CIA spies. Kagiso dropped off the sack of money – I don’t mean that figuratively, it really was a sack of money – at the agreed place while Shaka hid to keep watch on the cash. Kagiso was then given a location to find Baby Mvelo and after he departed, a car arrived. Out jumped two familiar faces; Sixteen and Kop, the two thugs who beat up Shaka and Brutus in prison after that King Shaka airport arrest. They are also the same men whom Harriet hired to start a riot as cover for killing Shaka and Brutus in Tembisa during the family war.

Shaka spoke into his communication device to tell Kagiso the identity of the kidnappers. He was just as shocked as Shaka and everyone else watching in Television Land. Kagiso, who is accustomed to military planning, asked Shaka to hold back until he had collected Baby Mvelo.

Baby Mvelo kidnappers escape

Kagiso found nothing but the blue Jozi sky where he was supposed to find Baby Mvelo. Meanwhile, Shaka, who thinks with his temper rather than his brain, gave chase as the kidnappers drove off. He fired several shots at the receding back windscreen which only annoyed the kidnappers. They rang Kagiso and traded words with him, none of them flattering of course. When Kagiso went back to pick up Shaka, big brother got an earful for making the situation worse.

Back at the Khoza mansion, Goodness was just as annoyed as Kagiso. But when calm returned, the Khozas had a new plan

One step closer to finding Baby Mvelo

As the kidnappers drove away, Shaka did at least one thing right. He memorised the number plate of the getaway car. Using the vehicle registration number, Shaka found a name and address. The Khoza brothers went to the house. And they didn’t go there with cookies and Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets. Someone opened the door and Kagiso pincered his fingers around his neck before leading the startled looking man into the house.

After a thorough beating from Shaka, the young man said he didn’t know anything about a baby kidnapping. His only crime was kindness. His aunt asked him to lend his car to a Church friend who had a job interview to attend. And that was all he knew. But this wasn’t good enough for the Khoza brothers. Kagiso suddenly blew up and grabbed the man in a choke hold. He seems to do that a lot, Kagiso. Always gotta choke somebody.

Choking wasn’t enough punishment for a baby kidnapper’s accomplice. Kagiso beat him to death with his bare hands, before stomping his face like a Zulu dancer! Gida!

Schumacher was right about Kagiso when he said “beware the quiet ones.” Sadly, the one strong lead that Kagiso and Shaka had in finding Baby Mvelo lay dead on the concrete floor, in a pool of blood and grey matter.

Baby Mvelo kidnapper taunts Goodness

Gertrude (real name Bathabile Mashigo), the woman who took Mvelo is Sixteen’s sister. And just in case you are wondering, Sixteen’s real name is Sipho Mdhlovu. You’re welcome. Gertrude lost her child to a poisonous batch of cocaine – one of the Tembisa Ten youths who died at the Corner House – and she blames the Khozas who of course are the key supplier of drugs in Tembisa. And now Gertrude is warming up to the idea of keeping Baby Mvelo for good. She has even renamed the baby, kind of like how people rename a lost and found dog. The liver of that woman!

Gertrude joined a handful of praying women who called on the Khozas. She hugged Goodness as if she has never stolen anybody’s baby in her life. Wooo, I can’t wait for Goodness to personally kill that one. While Sixteen is indulging his grieving sister, Kop (real name Mbuso Kgarebe) would rather kill Baby Mvelo and disappear fast-fast, along with their ill-gotten R40,000,000.

Vuyiswa seeks hubby’s permission for umjolo

Jerry has been dead for 8 months and Vuyiswa hasn’t been in black clothes for the socially accepted period. Fearing for the scandalous gossip that would erupt in the event of her dating so soon, Vuyiswa stood up Hector after he had made dinner plans at a restaurant. Hector looked doubly stupid – firstly he wore a red shirt, as if he plays for Manchester United, and secondly, do you know how bad it looks sitting there with a bunch of roses while you stare at your watch, stare at the empty chair opposite yours, stare at the wrist again until the waiter asks you to order but you still want to wait for someone who isn’t coming?

But the heart wants what the heart wants. Vuyiswa eventually came to the realization that Patronella had been talking sense when she said she would soon get “rusty” and needed “greasing”. She finally said kasi gossip be damned. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new couple. Hector and Vuyiswa.

And in closing, it seems we have our old show back. Loyiso Macdonald and Sthembiso “SK” Khoza both gave SAFTA winning performances. It’s a pity that Baby Mvelo had to get kidnapped before her uncle and daddy could take us back to the original action packed show that we know and love.

Till next week, my pen is capped


The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00pm on Mzansi Magic and is also available on Showmax

@RewindMzansi on Twitter

Images from Twitter and videos from YouTube


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