Before I get to the lady of the moment, Vuyiswa Jola-Sebata, I would like to reflect on some of the story blunders on The Queen. There was the time Thato opened the fridge to stare into pitch blackness – no fridge light – then Diamond Mabuza’s hospital breathing tube which was attached to nothing, Thato impaling himself onto a sheet of broken windscreen glass, which is impossible because windscreens break into small bits and then of course the many characters who disappear like a fart in the wind; Amo not returning to mourn her father, Jackal ghosting Thato’s funeral, cousin Dingane and Uncle Kgosi being absent at Kea’s death. I could go on. Last week, Vuyiswa had her grand moment – the arrest of Hector – but this was sadly overshadowed by a plot blunder of great scale. A plot hole huge enough to submerge the entire cast of The Queen. Even Cassper Nyovest couldn’t fill it up if he tried.
Noma seeks financial independence
Noma is the ex wife of a rich man. She is accustomed to a ntofo-ntofo life of two ply toilet paper, perhaps, holidays in Dubai, Louis Vuitton suitcases, scented tampons, that sort of extravagance. But after the divorce, she found herself working as a PA to her best friend, Harriet. Must be humiliating!
Last week Goodness put up the Blue Moon Lounge for sale – she inherited it from Gracious who was bludgeoned to death at the very same establishment – and Noma got first right of refusal. Noma was seized with guilt, she felt like moving out of the Khoza mansion and buying the Blue Moon would be abandoning Harriet but Shaka encouraged her to put herself first.
After Noma got over these fears, she had a new worry; where to get the money to buy a restaurant, bar and motel. She tried the bank but was unsuccessful. She asked Brutus for a loan but he pulled out a wad of bank notes and counted it in her face, before he said no. “You chose Charles over me,” he said. To add the sting of salt to injury, Brutus flaunted a hired female companion in Noma’s face, right there in the Khoza mansion. Harriet gave Noma the safe combination so that she could lock away an important file. And there in the safe was a stack on money, just gathering dust and waiting to be stolen!
But Noma left it there. She met up with an old crush, well, she was actually the crushee. The crusher is Richard who always fancied her way back when she was with Charles. Now Richard has gone and made a success of his life in investment banking. Richard was willing to pump cash into Noma’s Blue Moon purchase. Sadly, it turned out Richard wanted to pump something else. And Noma wasn’t so willing.
Noma comes clean
After Richard demanded sex in exchange for seed money – pun very much intended – Noma receded into her shell. When Harriet went to her for a chat, she found Noma curled up in bed, crying. And that’s when Noma let it all out, along with the tears. She felt like a failure and more than that, she had been tempted to steal Harriet’s stash of cash from the safe. But she had overcome this temptation.
After having a good cry, Noma and Harriet went to meet Richard, who was probably ready with Viagra and his chequebook. Harriet stood back while Noma spoke with Richard. Noma’s refusal of his indecent proposal was dramatic. She hailed a passing waitress, took a glass of water from her tray and emptied the glass all over Richard’s crotch, which is always the target when women are annoyed with a man. While he tried to compose himself, Harriet materialised. She gave him a severe talking to – this is my town, don’t ever mess with my friend again, that sort of thing – but Richard wasn’t entirely intimidated. Right on cue, Shaka arrived and grabbed Richard by the necktie. He promptly got the message, proving that Shaka’s karate is scarier than Harriet’s good looks and French perfume. Noma’s Blue Moon story has a happy ending. Harriet funded her bid to purchase and, after the paperwork is done, Noma should become the new owner. As the Khoza household celebrated Noma’s victory, an old face re-entered.
“Tadah! I’m back.” Kgosi!
Welcome back Sello Maake okaNcube.
Thato sends Vuyiswa a sign from heaven
After confronting Hector about Thato’s accident, Vuyiswa backed down. She apologized for having wrongly accused Hector. But she was merely trying to lull him into a false sense of security. Behind her husband’s back, Vuyiswa continued to investigate.
She finally located Jaros’ girlfriend, Anna (real name Asanda Hadebe). She locked her up in the Corner House storeroom and tortured her until she confessed: yes, Hector killed Jerry, and Jaros was just the fall guy. Vuyiswa made her sign a statement. I am not a lawyer but I am certain that such a confession will never hold up in court. Vuyiswa needed more. She asked Schumacher to give her a statement confirming that he indeed saw Hector engaged in the trafficking of illicit drugs. But Schumacher was afraid to rat on not just one drug kingpin but two drug barons – the Khoza family is implicated. He was not prepared to do that.
Vuyiswa felt that her case had collapsed. She looked heavenward and asked Thato, Boy-Boy, to please send her a sign, anything to help her. And just then, her phone beeped. An audio message from Lumko Toto, alias Schumacher. He gave a full confession. The sign she had been waiting for.
Armed with an arrest warrant, Vuyiswa, accompanied by other officers, swarmed the Sebata house. Hector was handcuffed. I won’t celebrate yet, because I know just how messy legal proceedings can get. A plot twist could leave Vuyiswa with egg on her face. Speaking of plots…
Embarrassing plot hole on The Queen
During the Mvelo kidnap saga, her abductors Sixteen and Kop demanded a further R20,000,000 after the Khozas had paid the same amount of money earlier. The Khozas’ cash reserves had run dry. Goodness stepped up. She gave up her inheritance, from Gracious life insurance and the sale of the Blue Moon. No no, I am not a hater. In fact, there is no bigger fan of The Queen than me. But here we are, Goodness, who sold The Blue Moon when she first left Jozi in 2020, is selling the same Blue Moon a second time. Someone on the story writing team really messed up.
Don’t take my word for it. Watch the video from February 2021.
Till next week, my pen is capped
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Images from Twitter, videos from YouTube
The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00pm on Mzansi Magic