How to Handle Rejection Sensitivity

Rejection sensitivity is a symptom that can come along with mental illness such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and more. It refers to feeling a deep sense of upset when faced with rejection of any kind.

What Is Rejection?

Rejection can take form in many ways. Some of the common ways we see rejection in real life include:

  • Your friend says they’d rather not hang out today
  • Your teacher doesn’t select you for a group outing
  • Your boss rejects your application for a promotion
  • Your partner says “no” when you ask to go out on a date

In short, rejection is being told “no.” When we hear “no,” it can often lead to feelings of hurt, sadness, and anger.

3 Ways to Deal With Rejection

If you find yourself having a hard time dealing with rejection in your day-to-day life, don’t worry. Here are three ways you can lessen the hurt when you’re told “no.”

Determine the Underlying Cause of Your Hurt

Every difficult feeling we face often has a cause. In the case of rejection, we often internalize someone else’s response to us and take it personally. You may think:

  • Am I unlovable?
  • Am I not worthy of this?
  • Do they hate me?

If you find yourself having these thoughts, you can delve deeper to see what they might mean. Maybe you felt unloved growing up. Perhaps you have tried your whole life to be good at some skill and feel that you haven’t been recognized enough for your effort. Maybe you are afraid of losing others.

No matter what it is, the good news is that you can work through these feelings, either through therapy or through other healthy methods like journaling.

Outline Your Own Boundaries

It may help you to accept other people’s boundaries when you accept and honor your own. Practice saying “no” to yourself in the mirror, and then start practicing the technique with more minor situations in your life. If someone asks you, “do you want a glass of water?” practice saying “no,” when you’re not thirsty.

You can then utilize this skill to say “no” more often in real life. When you understand the importance of boundaries, you will be able to understand why others have to set them with you as well. It isn’t always personal.

Communicate With Your Loved Ones

If the person who has rejected you is someone you are close with, it’s okay to communicate with them. Let them know you’re feeling sensitive about something they said — and ask them for clarification if needed.

Remember that reassurance-seeking behaviors can only help in the short term. You’ll want to work with a trained therapist if this is something you face on an ongoing basis.

Conclusion

Dealing with rejection sensitivity doesn’t have to be impossible. There are many ways to heal the hurt caused by being told “no.” Remember that you’re not alone, and rejection sensitivity is something that many people with many backgrounds of life face. There is always help around the corner.

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