Most wanted

Mzansi Magic’s most wanted

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Police in Television Land are looking for two men, dubbed Mzansi Magic’s most wanted, in connection with multiple cases of murder. The two men have been identified as Phathutshedzo Makwarela and Gwydion Beynon.

Victims of murder

They are wanted in connection with a string of murders committed on Mzansi Magic, most notably Mogapi Maake, Bakang Maake, Mzi Khoza, Mbali Dikana, Diamond Mabuza, Kamina, Princess Kefilwe and Captain Jerry Maake. According to forensic specialists, the murder weapon is a laptop and ballistics confirm that the same computer was used in each of the cases. Initially, Television Land police were operating under the assumption that the crimes were random and unrelated. But new evidence suggests that they are dealing with a serial killer. Shaka Khoza, who recently survived a murder attempt by the interracial pair, is assisting police with investigations. Another survivor, Siyanda Khoza is fighting for her life after having fallen from the first floor balcony of her marital home. As Siyanda is thought to have been pregnant, authorities may consider a case of double homicide, if she does not come out of her coma. The criminal masterminds behind the murder are reputed for shooting up weddings, and Television Land police will be on high alert for acts of terrorism during the funeral of Jerry Maake this Friday.

Descriptions of the most wanted criminals

Makwarela is five foot tall and his accomplice, Beynon, is six foot five. A reward is on offer for any information that might lead to the apprehension of the wanted killers. The public are however warned not to engage the suspects as they are both heavily armed with laptops, pens and smartphones, all of which have been used to murder characters on Mzansi Magic.

Jerà

The views expressed in this satirical piece do not represent the opinion of Quick Read Magazine

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