When a friend forgives you for stealing R10,000,000 you either have to be brave or stupid to betray them for a second time, and Noma Matshikiza (real name Brenda Ngxoli) must have been both daft and bold to cross the queen, Harriet Mathapelo Khoza. The world may have moved on from monarchies but even in these modern times, queens still deal with their enemies the old fashioned way:
Off with their heads!
Shaka banned from Men’s Conference
Every man knows that dudes don’t touch a woman’s handbag — ever. Even if your wife is wheezing from an asthmatic episode, umjita does not look for her inhaler in the handbag. Never ever!
Harriet had her suspicions about Noma and Charles selling her out to the cops. She and Shaka combed the Khoza mansion for listening devices. They found several bugs concealed around the house. But they still couldn’t tie the bugs to Noma. However there was no doubt who the snitch was when Shaka broke bro code and searched Noma’s handbag. He found a bug identical to the ones that were concealed in the Khoza mansion.
We will talk about Noma later, right now we need to announce Shaka Khoza’s banishment from the next men’s conference for looking inside a woman’s handbag.
Back to Noma…..
Noma discovers Harriet’s nasty side
After Harriet and Shaka had known for sure that Noma had betrayed the family, they decided on her punishment. Killing her would have been too kind. With the rest of the family away, Harriet drugged Noma before bundling her into the car boot with Shaka’s assistance. Fast forward to a deserted wasteland — where everyone knows that nothing good ever happens — and Harriet accepted R200,000 cash in a brown envelope — which everyone knows is dirty money — from two heavy looking guys. Noma had been sold into sex slavery. But she was not about to go quietly; visions of being chained to a bed for life must have run through her mind. Forgetting her Model C accent, Noma screamed a desperate, last ditch appeal to Harriet.
You know things are bad when your friend calls you by your African name!
But Mathapelo turned around on Noma and screamed back. I loved you, you betrayed me so effe you. Which always sounds strange, shocking, when Connie Ferguson — who everyone knows to be classy — screams F words. Connie probably sweats champagne from her armpits and wakes up with sweet smelling breath every morning, but there she was, swearing on television. Yoh!
Noma broke free from the hold of the two beefy men and ran, because she is still Vuyo the athlete from Home Affairs (2005) who can run fast. But everyone knows that only Superman is faster than a speeding bullet. Harriet issued a verbal warning but Vuyo, oops, Noma kept running. Harriet fired, hitting Noma in the back, which is ironic because backstabber. Shoulder shrug. Except Noma couldn’t shrug her shoulder anymore because bullets will do that to you.
Noma was still alive. Shaka cocked his pistol on the boot of his heel, which is the coolest thing on television, because cocking your gun with both hands is boring like drinking warm beer. But Harriet stopped him from delivering the death blow. She wanted Noma to bleed to death, out there on the wasteland, a place where everyone knows nothing good ever happens.
Harriet regrets her decision
Harriet met Hector Sebata to discuss business, which to me always looks like Tau and Karabo on a date. Hector informed her of the ongoing investigation into the Khoza drug business. Harriet already knew. But what she didn’t know was that the root cause of the investigation was Charles. Furthermore he had tricked Noma into turning snitch even though the immunity deal did not include her. Harriet immediately regretted her decision to eliminate Noma. She and Shaka — who everybody knows is banned from the Men’s Conference — went back to the desolate wasteland — where everyone knows nothing good happens — to look for Noma. They found her barely alive and took her back home where Harriet’s private doctor — whom everyone knows doesn’t ask questions about bullet wounds — stayed with her overnight until she was past the critical condition they had found her in.
Noma repays Harriet’s loyalty
While Harriet and Noma were putting bullet holes into each other and proving that Vuyo was still an athlete, Charles met with the national prosecutor. Because the bugs planted by Noma hadn’t gone live, and Noma had vanished, Charles’ immunity deal was in danger of being withdrawn by the state. Charles barged into the Khoza mansion looking for Noma. He held Harriet at gun point. Noma — who can still run like Vuyo from Home Affairs — heard Charles’ voice and yanked the drip tube from her discus throwing arm before going downstairs. She shot charles several times until he was dead, dead, dead! So dead he is not coming back even though Shaka and Jerry came back from the grave.
Schumacher steals from wife
Skhumbuzo “Dollar” Zulu — whom everyone knows for his Christmas tree suits — turned up the heat on Siyanda — whom everyone knows is the gold digger that stole Dollar’s R2,000,000 and blew it on two weeks of champagne life. To incentivize Siyanda to pay back the money like Jacob, Dollar abducted Neo, her daughter.
Desperate to save Siyanda, Schumacher stole Mpho’s phone and transferred R1,7000,000 from his wife’s bank account to Siyanda. Wow! Mpho gives him love, sex and forgiveness for cheating on her with that waiter and Schumacher repays her by stealing? This is not going to end well, especially with Thando already out to get Schumacher. When Thando has finished dealing with Sihle on Isibaya, she is coming for Schumacher.
When Schumacher and Siyanda were about to go and deliver Dollar’s R1,700,000 Georgina intercepted them at the corner house exit. Georgina had pressed Thato into giving her the CCTV footage of the Corner House which is how she knew Siyanda was mixed up with Dollar. Siyanda and Schumacher distracted her and escaped to go and meet Dollar. After hours of counting and recounting his money, Dollar finally released Neo.
Vuyiswa lays down the law
After Georgina pressured Thato into speaking the truth, she escalated the Siyanda-Dollar debacle to Vuyiswa whom everyone knows was married to Jerry Maake and therefore his rigid strictness passed onto her during sex like a communicable disease. Vuyiswa wanted Thato, Siyanda and Schumacher thrown in jail for stealing Dollar’s money. But when they convinced her that police involvement would endanger Neo’s life, Vuyiswa back down. One good thing came from Schumacher stealing from Mpho; he and Thato finally kissed and made up. Obviously not literally, which I must hasten to add because everyone knows Schumacher isn’t sexually picky.
I guess, on the whole, it was a happy ending for all — unless you are Charles, whom everyone knows is dead, dead, dead.
Will the real Harriet please stand up
I was a little surprised, if not puzzled by the way the Noma plot unravelled. Harriet is known to be pro gender justice. The writers have used the Harriet character to illustrate (and fight) the unfairness of a patriarchal society. Harriet fought off the entire KZN division of the Khoza clan when they attempted to disinherit her when Mzi Khoza died. She went up against Kea’s abusive ex boyfriend. She is a true mbokodo, drug dealing notwithstanding. So for Harriet to suddenly try to sell Noma into sex slavery goes against all that she stands for. Did the head writers, Phathu Makwarela and Gwydion Beynon miss this anomaly? Will the real Harriet please stand up!
Till next week, my pen is capped
The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00pm on Mzansi Magic and is also available on Showmax and DSTV Catch Up
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