Schumacher strikes gold

Schumacher strikes gold [The Queen]

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Schumacher lives on a driver’s salary. But he is cursed with a love for the finer things in life, even though what passes for “finer things” in the eyes of Schumacher is often quite hideous. He is a career Ben 10 who pursues high net worth individuals for trinkets and bae allowance. Schumacher is conveniently bisexual, which makes it even easier for him to hook and reel in sponsors. Think about it, most Ben 10s can only chase people of one gender. But Schumacher’s endless search for money has no such restrictions.

This week, on The Queen, Schumacher is like Ali Baba after discovering the cave spilling over with gold. Open sesame!

Georgina shares a secret


After Vuyiswa told Georgina about the rape, Patronella sensed sadness in her daughter. When Patronella asked, Georgina, without giving away Vuyiswa’s name, said a friend from work had been raped.

Later Patronella, unaware of the harm she might cause, would mention this to Vuyiswa. This led to a fight between Georgina and Vuyiswa. Thankfully the pair quickly made up.

Georgina – Vuyiswa’s rock

Georgina has continued to be Vuyiswa’s unshakeable pillar of support. As Vuyiswa slowly came out of her shell, Georgina asked if she had seen a doctor since the rape. Vuyiswa immediately assumed that Georgina meant getting a rape kit, a proposition to which she objected. Vuyiswa does not want the police to investigate. When Georgina explained that she meant an STI test, she suddenly realized that she had overlooked the most important thing for a rape victim.

At the clinic, Georgina and Vuyiswa would meet another survivor of rape. The encounter triggered Vuyiswa’s thoughts of her own ordeal and, as such, she got up and left without getting tested.

Schumacher secures the bag


Ever since she began seeing Schumacher, Mpho has been floating on air. This hadn’t escaped Hector’s policemanly eye. Naturally, he asked to meet his daughter’s boyfriend. But Mpho was hesitant to introduce her man. She was afraid that her father might not approve of her daughter dating a man of meagre resources. Nonsense, said Hector. I grew up poor, it doesn’t matter that he is penniless, he added.

So Mpho scrubbed and cleaned Schumacher for his meeting with the family. Thanks to her no limit bank card.

After spending R1,000 on a very shiny shirt, Schumacher was ready to meet the in-laws.

Dinner with the Sebatas

To nobody’s surprise, dinner at the Sebatas was a very tense affair. Hector knows that Schumacher now knows about his drug dealing side hustle and Thando, who thinks Mpho “can do much better than Schumacher”, was blatantly condescending towards her baby sister’s date.

Poor Mpho who is completely in the dark about her father and sister’s drug business of course doesn’t understand the reason for the anti Schumacher sentiment.

The most hilarious scene was when Hector asked for a moment alone with Schumacher. With Mpho out of earshot, Hector could relax and be his criminal self.

Hector — what are your intentions with Mpho

Schumacher— I just want to be your mkhwenyana!

We know Schumie has a racing car driver’s name but that’s way too fast! Wa speeder, Schumacher, in your shiny peacock shirt!


Schumacher — the perfect spy


After the tense, if not disastrous dinner, with the Sebatas, Schumacher was having lunch with Mjekejeke at the Khoza Trucking depot when ubabazala showed up. Again Hector confronted Schumacher about his motives with Mpho. Schumacher, seeking approval, pleaded innocence and said he would even quit his jobs at Khoza trucking and work for Hector. Hmmm. Working for a drug dealer is all fun and games until they need you to “take care of someone.” Be careful what you wish for, Schumie.

Back at the Sebata home, Hector briefed Mpho on his meeting with Schumacher. Thando of course hates Schumacher with a passion. For Hector though, this is an opportunity to have a spy within Khoza Trucking.

Two sisters, one man

Now that Schumacher has met the family, he and Mpho no longer have to sneak around. Schumacher boldly walked into the Sebata home only to be met with a foul tempered Thando. After a less than cordial chat, Thando sunk her manicured claws into Schumacher’s neck. She only released her grip when the unsuspecting Mpho walked in the room, completely oblivious to her big sister’s murderous nature.

The sisters had more than one spat over Schumacher with Thando telling Mpho that she can do better than Schumacher who is just a driver. Just a driver heh? Oksalayo, Schumacher the driver drives Mpho crazy.

Guess who’s back

Nobody, absolutely nobody saw it coming. Siyanda is back! She called on Thato and got her old job back. Siyanda (real name Cindy Mahlangu) wasted no time in reconnecting with Schumacher, her friend and ally in gold digging.

What was left was a visit to the Khozas.

At the Khoza mansion, Siyanda made her visit very brief. She apologised to Kagiso “for everything” before wishing him a great life. More on Siyanda later.

Men against gender based violence

When they found out about the policewoman who was raped (they still had no idea it was someone very close to home), Thato and Jackal organised a men’s discussion group at the Corner House to talk about gender based violence. Vuyiswa was invited to give a law enforcement officer’s view. Georgina and Noma attended. The discussion was frank and informative. But things went south when one of the men spoke of women wanting to challenge the superiority of men. And that’s when Vuyiswa burst a vein. She got up and screamed her opinions before revealing that she was raped.

As always the producers of The Queen have done a good job in bringing under the spotlight a serious social issue. On social media, real life women who can relate to Vuyiswa Jola  (real name Zandile Msutwana) also admitted that they too survived rape

But no report card is ever perfect. The much loved character, Siyanda returned, with a flat stomach and no child to show for her pregnancy. It is strange that she did not offer any kid of explanation to Kagiso. It is as if the writers of The Queen have completely forgotten that Siyanda was faking a pregnancy last winter. And funnier still that Kagiso didn’t ask about his child. The writers missed something here. Still we ask, where the hell is Dingane?

Till next week, my pen is capped




The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00pm on Mzansi Magic.


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