Siyanda pops champagne

Siyanda ’s stolen money shopping spree

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Imagine for a moment you are Siyanda; your landlady has slipped an eviction notice under the door of the back room that you are renting, you are accustomed to the good life — sponsored by Europe based soccer player Thabiso, your baby daddy and later drug dealer Kagiso Khoza — you now have to wait tables after a life of soccer player and cocaine money. And then, boom, a bag filled with cash literally  falls on your lap. What do you do?

Pfuka juice leaves Siyanda bankrupt


Solly tricked many people into investing in his fake juice business. The greatest casualty was Siyanda. The bank doesn’t care if you’ve just been duped by a con artist. They still want their pound of flesh. Service your bank loan including interest. As a result, Siyanda found herself unable to pay her rent. The landlady gave her an eviction notice. If only she was still sleeping in the Khoza mansion, Kagiso would have taken care of it, him being the do-gooder that he is. Kagiso the do-gooder is doing Goodness. The Khoza cash pipeline is sealed.

Schumacher and Mpho are fresh from honeymoon. Siyanda thought her problems were over. Schumacher who married up would give her money, right? Wrong!

Qond, sorry, that’s Thando is still watching Schumacher like one of those Bhubesini eagles on Isibaya. One wrong move and Schumie is out the door. So Schumacher can’t spend much at the moment

Siyanda gets the bag


The land lady was expecting her rent money when Siyanda, at Corner House closing time, found a bag abandoned inside the restaurant. She opened it. Piles of cash! This is where all your mother’s teachings come into play. Do you keep it or surrender the cash to the cops. If you ask a Boy Scout, the money is going straight to the police. But I didn’t ask a Boy Scout. I asked grown up South Africans.


Like the crooked majority, 60% of the people who responded to the poll, Siyanda kept the money. Finders keepers the old adage says.

Siyanda goes shopping


Gold diggers come in twos. That’s just the way it is. If you see Schumacher, chances are Siyanda is right behind her. The landlady rang and Siyanda told her she would not be needing the back room anymore. Meanwhile room service kept bringing the champagne bottles, thanks to Siyanda’s bag of stolen money.

Siyanda took Schumacher shopping, they returned with Louis Vuitton bags dangling at their gold digging ankles.

At the Corner House, Thato was going out of his mind, wondering where Siyanda could be since she hadn’t reported for work. And as I mentioned earlier, I asked ordinary people to give us their views. To keep the money or do the right thing. It seems 60% of the public support Siyanda. But are they going to comfort her when her spending spree ends in tears?

Dirty money


While Siyanda was sipping champagne in her hotel room, a desperate looking man entered the Corner House. Has anybody seen his bag? Later, we see the man pondering the foolishness of his ways while bloody faced and strapped to a chair. He drank too much and forgot about his bag. The money he lost belonged to his boss, Skhumbuzo Dollar, and everyone knows that Dollar’s second love, after bright suits, is money. There is no way this will end well for Siyanda.

Old and new boyfriends

The reason why Brutus hated Noma so much when she first joined The Queen is that her ex husband Charles ran off with Mzi Khoza’s R10 million some decades ago. A lifetime later, Charles materialized inside the Khoza Mansion. Brutus recognizing the man who stole ten million from his brother immediately drew his pistol. Kagiso, who is named after peace, intervened. After everyone calmed down, Charles transferred R10 million into Harriet’s bank account, which is only logical on television. In real life, Charles would have first asked for Harriet’s bank account and also paid back the interest and inflation. But there you go. This is television.

After putting to bed an old feud, Charles began to openly woo Noma, his ex wife and she wasn’t exactly discouraging him. Brutus, feeling threatened, did not want to lose Noma. He went and bought an engagement ring which he planned on unveiling at an intimate dinner.

Marriage proposal gone wrong

While Brutus was choosing rings, Charles upped his pursuit of Noma. Initially she resisted his advances. But alone with Harriet, she admitted that she was curious about his intentions. Charles asked her out to dinner, she accepted. But Brutus, assisted by Shaka, sent Noma an SMS, from an unknown number, asking her to meet him at the Blue Moon Lounge, coincidentally the same venue and time for Charles’ date. Because Brutus used an unknown number, Noma did not realize that the SMS invite wasn’t from Charles as she had thought.

At the agreed hour, Brutus, backed up by Harriet and Shaka arrived at the Blue Moon Lounge. But bad timing, Charles was already on his knees, with diamond ring in hand. Brutus stared through bulging eyes, as his beloved accepted another man’s marriage proposal. Cue Chris Brown, these chicks aint loyal.

Till next week, my pen is capped


The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00pm on Mzansi Magic and is also available on Showmax


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