When love hurts

When love hurts [The Queen Mzansi recap]

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A cynic once said love ought to come with pain medication, because love hurts. I mean, think about it, Cupid spends all his waking hours doing target practice, just so he can shoot pointed arrows into people’s hearts. Sex – the act of making love – is characterised by bite marks, carpet burns and broken hymen. And getting into a relationship is called “falling in love.” Unless you’re a film stuntman, who has the benefit of a thick mattress, falling hurts like hell.

For Schumacher, dating Mpho began as a ploy to spite Thato who had outed him as bisexual. But things escalated to love – gold digger love, real love, who knows. And because love hurts, things were always destined to end in tears.


After Schumacher’s showy marriage proposal during dinner with the Sebatas, Thando made it very clear that she did not approve of him as a brother in law.  Hector who also doesn’t approve of Schumacher was supportive because he fears that Mpho will slide back down the slippery slope to the lake of depression that almost drowned her following her mother’s death.

Schumacher was coming from the spaza, on what seemed like a normal, boring day. He was happy, as all newly affianced men are. From nowhere appeared a speeding white van which came to a screeching stop next to Schumacher. From it came armed men with masks over their faces, and it wasn’t the coronavirus kind of masks. A petrified Schumacher, offering his phone in exchange for his life, was bundled into the vehicle before it left the scene as quickly as it had arrived. They had no interest in his phone, because this was not an ordinary mugging. He was taken, and Liam Neeson was nowhere near enough to find him.


Love hurts for Schumacher

It did not take long for Schumacher to learn the identity of his kidnapper; it was Thando, his future sister in law, and this was no bachelor party prank. She wanted one thing only, for Schumacher to admit that he is only marrying Mpho for her money. Thando’s thugs worked him over until he was black and blue. But still Schumacher stuck to his story; he is marrying Mpho for love. But as stated earlier, love hurts. Thando’s men beat him some more.


Meanwhile, Mpho was going out of her mind with worry.

Have you seen my man?

When a man goes missing so soon after proposing to his girlfriend, something is amiss. But Brutus – the only Khoza to feature on The Queen this week – said Schumacher must have earned the wrath of a loan shark.


Mpho printed missing person posters and stuck them around the neighbourhood. But when she asked Thato to let her hang more posters at the Cornerhouse, he refused. Clearly Thato is still hurting from the fact that Mpho chose Schumacher over him. Back at the Sebata house, Mpho wouldn’t eat or come out of her bedroom, oh how love hurts. She cried through the night and Hector had to do something. His primary suspect for Schumacher’s disappearance was Thando. Of course, the apple does not fall far from the tree and Thando – who learned from the best about living a double life – put on her best poker face and said she knew nothing about Schumacher going missing.

“Maybe he went back to the Eastern Cape or wherever he comes from!” Thando said blithely.

But Hector is a cop and knows how lies are told through unblinking eyes. Mpho was sliding deeper into depression, and he had to solve the case of Schumacher’s disappearance.


Hector saves Schumacher

Thando went back to the location where she had Schumacher hidden away. After administering the day’s dose of beating, Thando once again demanded that Schumacher confess to being a gold digger.

Meanwhile Hector Sebata – real name Rapulana Seiphemo – was determined to find Schumacher for his weepy eyed youngest child. Sensing Thando’s dishonesty, he followed her to the warehouse. He arrived just in time to stop Thando from killing Schumacher. As Thando lowered her gun, Schumacher wept, proving once again how love hurts.

Schumacher disobeys Hector

When Schumacher limped away from the scene with his life, the pain in his ribs reminded him to stay as far away from Mpho as possible. Hector paid him a visit and, for the sake of peace between his daughters, asked him not to tell Mpho about the abduction. But Schumacher had already cheated death and was no longer afraid. He refused.

When the eventual meeting took place, he told Mpho that Thando had kidnapped him. As Mpho tried to come to terms with this shocking truth, Schumacher stabbed her in the heart – because love hurts – with a break up speech. Thando would never approve of their relationship.

Sisterly rivalry

Mpho is kindhearted, she sees the world through rose coloured lenses. She has no idea that her father is a drug dealer or that her sister is an assassin. This sort of naivety led Mpho to believe that Thando and Hector could simply apologize to Schumacher and he would come back to her. Hector, sharing in Mpho’s optimism, ordered Thando to apologize to Schumacher. But Thando threatened Schumacher with further acts of violence before making him send bogus text messages to Mpho and Hector, telling them he had accepted Thando’s apology. Of course Thando – real name Jessica Nkosi – who left her heart in Bhubesini hadn’t apologized.

Later, naïve Mpho went to speak to Schumacher. She found him engrossed in the act of numbing his physical pain with alcohol – because that’s what you do when love hurts. The angelic, naïve Mpho hoped for a sweet reunion. But Schumacher told her that he had been pressed by Thando into sending the text message. He did not want to be with her, for fear of Thando.

Wrongful arrest

After Vuyiswa and her colleagues pored through hours of video footage from The Corner House and other venues where women were attacked, a suspect with a sexual assault rap sheet was brought in for interrogation. Vuyiswa, in her eagerness to solve the serial rapist case – and perhaps in her search for personal justice – accused the suspect, only to learn that they had the wrong man. To prevent a lawsuit against the state, Sebata took Vuyiswa and Georgina off the rape case.

Derrick, one of Vuyiswa’s juniors, took over the files. But Vuyiswa’s need for justice overruled military chain of command. Behind Hector’s back, Vuyiswa and Georgina remained on the case.

Vuyiswa goes undercover

Together with warrant officer Georgina Zulu – real name Sibusisiwe Jili – Vuyiswa changed into her casual clothing. They planted themselves as bait at the Corner House where they pretended to drink alcohol and lose all inhibitions which is just what attracts rapists. But none of the men took the bait, even though the two women drew lots of lustful stares.

Undeterred, Vuyiswa and Georgina went to a different bar where their drunk chicks act drew more male attention than the last outing. But things escalated rather quickly when one man got too handsy and Vuyiswa had to defend herself with a beer bottle. Vuyiswa and Georgina were arrested for assault, giving credence to Charles Dickens’ enduring words; the law is an ass. Imagine that. A man molests you and you still end up in jail for defending yourself!

Till next week, my pen is capped


The Queen airs weekdays at 9:00 pm on Mzansi Magic and is available on Showmax.

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