Brutus Shakespeare Khoza (real name Themba Ndaba) is not a man for sentimentality or romance. His life is simple; wake up, drink beer, eat, drink whisky, go to the “butchery” and repeat. Love does not feature on his list of priorities. It must have been a surprise to his system when NomaPrincess Matshikiza (real name Brenda Ngxoli) made him fall crazy in love like Beyoncé and Jay Z. So crazy, in fact, that he was willing to kill for her. Okay, Brutus will kill for fun but never for a romantic love.
When Schumacher overheard his sister-in-law, Thando Sebata, in conversation with Skhumbuzo “Dollar” Zulu about R2,000,000 that went missing at the Corner House, round about the time that Siyanda quit her waitressing job to go on a crazy spending spree, he knew immediately how his friend had come into sudden wealth. Earlier, Siyanda had told Schumacher that she had received a large inheritance from a relative whom Schumie had never heard of before. When Schumacher asked her a second time, Siyanda stuck to the same story, even though he could tell she was telling lies.
Desperate to believe in her own lies, Siyanda accused Schumacher of being “jealous” of her money. She even employed the race card; people don’t want to see a black person succeed. She took back the watch she gave him. Schumacher backed off and Siyanda went back to popping champagne and shopping while living full time in a hotel.
Meanwhile, Dollar had tasked his top thug to find his missing R2,000,000. The henchman witnessed Siyanda’s Bonang lifestyle of champopo at the Corner House. Drinks were on the house for everyone as Siyanda made new fake friends at lost the old genuine ones.
I stole the money – Siyanda
Armed with photos of Siyanda living it up, the henchman gave Dollar the status report: Siyanda took your money. She had suddenly become Sis Madlisa, buying everyone drinks while her sparkling BMW stood in the car park. Dollar instructed his man to bring Siyanda to him. But she drove away just as Dollar’s goon tried to grab her. Dankie BMW keyless ignition. It was at this point when Siyanda decided to come clean to Schumacher. She had hoped he would ask his father-in-law, Hector Sebata, to keep Dollar from harming her. But Schumacher washed his hands off her. Thando was watching him closely for any signs that he wanted to use Mpho or her family so he has to be on his best behaviour. The only help Schumacher offered was that she gives back whatever stolen money remained.
When Siyanda added up the money, she was way below the R2,000,000 she had begun with prior to her shopping spree. She could no longer spend the remainder, meanwhile the hotel manager wanted her bill settled. The henchman tracked Siyanda to the hotel but, again, she evaded him – just about!
Brutus loses Noma
In the previous instalment of Rewind Mzansi, Brutus had walked in on Charles – on one knee with ring in hand – and Noma, all “yes, yes, yes I’ll marry you!” This was a bitter pill to swallow for Brutus who, never before, allowed himself to be vulnerable to a woman.
The following morning, Brutus was the last one to arrive at the breakfast table where newly reunited couple, Goodness and Kagiso exchanged diaper jokes about baby Mvelo. Inappropriate dining table conversation you two! Kagiso and Goodness assumed Bhovungane and Noma were still in bed “celebrating” their engagement. When Brutus finally appeared, with the mandatory beer bottle in hand, ubaba kaMvelo and baby mama, Goodness, expected to hear the news of the impending wedding. But there was to be no Khoza wedding. Noma had chosen Charles, which is just as well because we all know how Khoza weddings end.
Two bulls in one kraal
Harriet offered Charles and Noma the use of the Khoza mansion as their wedding venue. Brutus was the last to find out, he was surprised – horrified – to see Charles moving in. “You want to have your wedding where!?” Eventually Brutus backed down. But things deteriorated rather swiftly when Brutus confronted Noma at the poolside patio and told her exactly what he thought about her. A lot was said, mainly by Brutus. I believe the word “whore” featured in his speech. Charles overhead Brutus’ diatribe and felt duty bound to defend his fiancée’s tarnished honour. He told Brutus to show some respect. And Brutus, with pistol on his waist, narrowed his eyes and invited Charles to repeat himself, even though he had heard him as clearly as a referee’s whistle.
Charlie’s grasp of the IsiZulu language must be fragile because he took “say that again” a little too literally. A heartbeat after Charles opened his mouth, Brutus smacked him across the face. Charlie ran forward – stupid mad – and it became a brawl. Brutus overpowered him and struck him repeatedly on the forehead with his gun butt – thud, thud, thud – before nudging him into the swimming pool. Meanwhile the bride is screaming for someone, anyone to intervene. The armed security guards weren’t stepping in because hey, their boss was winning. Brutus had his pistol aimed at Charles who stood, shoulders deep in water. Gunshot! Finally someone intervened. Harriet, The Queen herself, dressed, as she always does, like she has very important places to go to even though all she does is chill in her mansion.
Brutus gives Harriet an ultimatum
Brutus had not only suffered the indignity of losing his bae to her ex husband Charles but now he had to live with the man. Although Bhovs took great satisfaction in beating up Charles, he could not stand to play Harriet’s game of happy families and smile like he was cool with everything. You can step aside and let your ex find love elsewhere but listening to her moans of lovemaking next door requires Nelson Mandelaesque humility, which Brutus lacks. So Uncle Brutus packed up his vast collection of golf shirts and several bottles of the best liquor from Harriet’s cabinet. Meanwhile in the real world, Cyril had blocked the liquor pipeline, but that’s a conversation for another day. At the front door, Harriet caught Brutus as he loaded his suitcase into the car. She gave in to his demands; Harriet must respect him and Noma and Charles should leave.
Brutus was right – for once
There is bad blood between Charles and the Khozas, well, just Brutus because the rest of the family have forgiven the man for stealing their R10,000,000 decades ago. Apart from being sore from losing Noma, Brutus feared that Charles would eventually strike the Khozas when their guard was down. A snake is a snake, Brutus said.
It was the final night of Charles and Noma’s stay at the Khoza mansion. Charles thought he was alone in the guest bedroom, speaking on the phone. It is not clear who was on the other end of the line but Charles wanted to speed up the plan of planting listening devices in the Khoza mansion in order to ensure their “downfall”. Brutus, the weird uncle whom everyone dismissed as crazy, was right after all.
Till next week, my pen is capped
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