His younger brothers Mlungisi, Cebo and Nkosiyabo were so envious of him that they said he had “used muthi” to woo his beautiful fiancée and his father, Brutus Shakespeare Khoza, finally respected Bhambatha. His mom, MaJali (real name Nomsa Buthelezi) ululated when her first born Bhambatha announced that he would bring home a bride. But the joy was short lived…
Schumacher’s envy leads to desperation
Because her business partner cum restaurant manager, Patronella and assistant manager, Schumacher, were constantly fighting for supremacy, Vuyiswa was so fed up that she decided to shut down the Corner House and rent it out to a tenant. But Schumacher and Patronella put their differences aside and worked together to prove to Vuyiswa that the Corner House should remain in business. Recently rebranded, the Corner House now trades as KwaPatty, a name given in honour of Vuyiswa’s best friend Patronella Zulu. Schumacher and Sis Pat organised a function which drew a large spending crowd. When manager Pat counted the takings she literally filled up a duffle bag with bank notes which totalled R200,000. Schumacher’s envy kicked in. He had expected to receive “a cut” from this money, never mind the fact that KwaPatty still has to cover staff salaries and other operating costs. When Sis Pat refused to give Schumacher his cut, he tried to steal money from the cash register. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, she caught him in the act and made him put the money back. If only we had a Sis Pat to monitor those stealing tax payers’ money. But that’s a story for another day.
Schumacher was not discouraged by this minor setback. He waited until everyone at Sis Pat’s house had left for work. Alone at home, he found Sis Pat’s hidden bunch of keys and unlocked her bedroom door. Schumacher then locked up the house while carrying what looked like Sis Pat’s duffle bag. Goodness, visiting Sis Pat arrived just as Schumacher was locking up. His nervousness did not go unnoticed to Goodness’ watchful eye. She has, after all, seen Schumacher up close and personal during the times he dated her mother Gracious.
Schumacher arrested for stealing the bag
It did not take long for Sis Pat to realize that her R200,000 was missing. This isn’t R200 which may have just slipped between the sofa cushions. It’s two hundred grand. Schumacher joined in the search, like a corrupt politician who is first to declare war on corruption! Just as Sis Pat had resigned herself to her loss, Goodness arrived. “I saw Schumacher carrying a large bag and acting suspicious”.
That’s all Sis Pat needed to hear.
“Bopha, Georgina. Bopha!”
But Georgina wasn’t about to put the handcuffs on her own boyfriend. Except maybe in the bedroom. Georgina washed her hands like that spineless dude Ponteus Pilate who allowed them to crucify Jesus. But Sis Pat brought in cops who were more impartial. After dusting for fingerprints they found Schumacher’s prints all over the bedroom door handle and the furniture in Patronella’s bedroom where he had ransacked every drawer. Schumacher’s stomach ache story conflicted with what he had told Georgina. And Goodness’ testimony was further damning evidence. The cops threw him into a jail cell where two unpleasant dudes beat him up for no reason other than their poor upbringing.
Schumacher asked Georgina to help him with bail but she was still neutral like Switzerland. In fact, her neutrality had begun to smell and taste like bias against Schumacher. His conflicting story and the fingerprints told her he was guilty. It didn’t help Schumacher that he confessed to having wanted to steal the money but only changed his mind at the last moment.
But there is one person Schumacher can always count on, the man whose heart he broke by sleeping with his daughter; Jabulani Mjekejeke Zulu. Risking his marriage, best friend Mjakes paid Schumacher’s bail. As can be expected, Patronella was mad as hell to find Schumacher un-arrested and making himself a chunky polony sandwich in her kitchen. She was doubly angry to learn that Mjekejeke had used their money to pay for the same person who had stolen from her.
I don’t know if there is a plot twist on the horizon but I did see Schumacher leave the house with Sis Pat’s duffle bag. Also the fact that Schumacher doesn’t even have hundred rands for food or a place to stay, after being evicted by Sis Pat, suggests that he doesn’t have the two hundred grand. Unless of course he is pretending for plausibility. We shall see.
Horror as Brutus meets his makoti
When Cebo and Nkosi first saw big brother Bhambatha’s girlfriend “Kefiloe”, they thought he had used some kind of muthi to woo her. How does ugly Bhambatha get such a beautiful woman, said the mischievous Nkosi.
MaJali, whom everyone knows loves Bhambatha more than her other sons, was thrilled beyond words when her firstborn announced his engagement. Brutus too was so happy that he finally saw Bhambatha as a man. In a poignant scene, Brutus wielded an authentic looking Zulu spear and told Bhambatha the story of how, with this spear, he had saved Mzi Khoza’s life. It was the Khoza family spear passed down from eldest son to eldest son. Feeling grateful for having saved by his younger brother, Mzi broke tradition and handed the spear to Brutus. At the end of the moving tale, Brutus passed on the Khoza spear to Bhambatha (real name Khumbuza Meyiwa), asking him to guard the family with it as previous Khoza first born sons before him had done.
The uncles were summoned to Jozi and MaJali made phone calls to relatives back home in KZN to brag about her son’s impending nuptials. Meanwhile relations between Brutus and Bhambatha had improved immensely. Never before had she seen her two favourite men getting along.
The Khoza men were drinking and chatting in a restaurant when Thando walked in. She saw Brutus, Bhambatha and his brothers. She added two and two. She got twenty-two rather than four. Bhambatha had been spying on her for Brutus. She had her pistol drawn and pointed it at Brutus. Bhambatha intervened, calling out the only name by which he knew his fiancée.
“Kefiloe!”
Brutus corrected him of course. But it didn’t end there. After fake Kefiloe went away and the Khozas went to their Sebata mansion home, Brutus punished Bhambatha for “working with the Sebatas against the family” even though his son insisted that Thando had not revealed her true identity. He ordered his two unsophisticated sons, Nkosiyabo (real name Craig Nobela) and Mlungisi (Siphesihle Vazi) to beat up Bhambatha. Cebo (real name Ntobeko Mathebula) the thinker of the family, did not get involved in the rough stuff. After taking his beating like a man, Bhambatha apologized to Brutus for letting down the family. Bhambatha received nothing but hostility in return. Feeling unwanted, he packed his bags and left for KZN. But Bhambatha would never arrive home.
Thando kidnaps and tortures Bhambatha
While Brutus assumed that Bhambatha had betrayed him, Thando assumed that Bhambatha had been using her to get information on the Khozas and Sebatas who had lost their cocaine buyers round about the same time Thando had met the treacherous Bhambatha. She had added 2 and 2, and got 22.
As Bhambatha left the Sebata mansion, now inhabited by Brutus and family, Thando’s team of men intercepted him. He was taken to one of those abandoned buildings which are always in plentiful supply on The Queen Mzansi. There, he was beaten, waterboarded like an American terror suspect before being trodden with the sharp end of Thando’s stiletto. I felt his pain through the TV.
It was déjà vu for Bhambatha; more accusations of being a spy and more beatings for a crime he hadn’t committed. And just as he had done with his first beating, he took it like a man. Until he spotted an opportunity, a knife on the floor. Duct-taped to a chair, he shuffled across the room and got the blade before cutting himself free. When the two captors returned to check on him, Bhambatha stabbed the first one before shooting the second one dead. Thando, carrying a bag of food for her prisoner arrived. She immediately saw the empty chair and knew Bhambatha had broken free. Before she could make sense of his escape, Thando felt the cold steel of a pistol against the back of her head.
Harriet saves Brutus
The worst mistake Brutus ever made was to buy the Sebata house. At the Khoza mansion, Hector was studying the house plans preparing for a night time assault on the Khozas. He gave his hired killers instructions to take no prisoners. Everyone was to be killed. Had Hector not bragged about his plans, Brutus would have met the ancestors who had left behind the Khoza spear. Harriet forbade Hector’s attack, proving that Hector might wear the trousers, but Harriet is the boss of that marriage.
I found the knife attack by Bhambatha to be imperfect. His blows looked more suited to theatre rather than television where stunts have to look real. The idea that Thando would cling to her false name, all the way until and beyond her engagement is also ludicrous, an insult to the intelligence of viewers, something included in the plot merely to make the story go in the intended direction. I await my apology from Ferguson Films.
Until then, my pen is capped
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The Queen airs on Mzansi Magic DSTV every weekday at 9:00pm