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Siyanda The Queen of scheming

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Love – real love, unrequited love, fake love, enforced love – was the theme, last week on The Queen Mzansi, with Georgina catching unexpected feelings and Siyanda scheming to secure the bag. We learned that if you love someone, don’t bother with chocolate, diamonds and roses. That is sooo old.

Roses are so old – catch a criminal instead

Georgina’s night time job continues to affect her police work. Last week – and not for the first time – she fell asleep at work. This time it was during a stakeout. While she snoozed, the suspect she had been assigned to watch got away. While the top brass were pondering suitable disciplinary action, Georgina confided in Skhali, the loan shark who is crushing on her. If you have ever owed money to a loan shark then you will know that umashonisa can find anyone even if they changed address three times and got themselves a new ID booklet with a fake name. In fact, if all the missing people advertised on Twitter had owed money to a mashonisa, he would have found all of them by now. Within a short space of time, Skhali returned, dragging the escapee by the scruff of his neck and presented him to Georgina. When she offered to pay him, Skhali rebuffed her money. He did it for love, not money. From then on, Georgina seemed to warm up to the roughneck. Back at the police station, Georgina went from zero to hero, after delivering the escaped suspect in handcuffs.

Schumacher who, of late, appears to be the resident confidante to lonely women, encouraged Georgina to get closer to Skhali for financial reasons, she owes the man R10,000. Patronella also urged her daughter to play the wounded bird – men hate to see a woman cry, she said – in order to be freed from her debt.

Speaking of Sis Pat, Georgina finally told her mother about having to work two jobs for the sake of the family house which needs rebuilding. Unlike in previous weeks where Patronella was only interested in stuffing Georgina’s money into her bra, she sympathised with her daughter.

Siyanda is determined

After losing the baby that would have been her ticket into the wealthy Khoza family, Siyanda decided on a new strategy; get pregnant before Kagiso notices his unborn child is gone. Unfortunately, the fertility expert – played by former Mnet Face of Africa finalist, Lerato Moloi, remember her – advised against trying to conceive so soon after a miscarriage. But Siyanda is like a pitbull with its jaw clamped over a fleeing ankle. Assisted by her BFF Schumacher – who himself has fed at the Khoza feeding trough, by way of sugar daddy Kgosi – Siyanda found a crooked nurse who has promised to get her pregnant, for a fee of course. As soon as she had accepted the mysterious elixir which will get her back into oestrous, she came very close to getting discovered!

Kagiso had, in the meantime,  gone to the Mabuza house where he found Patronella wrapping the furniture and other valuables; Goodness has decided to leave Joburg for good. A frustrated Kagiso punched a glass pane and sustained injuries to his hand, resulting in a trip to the hospital. As Siyanda discussed her secret plans to fall pregnant all over again, Kagiso, still distraught over Goodness leaving, happened to be at the open door of the consulting room. Thankfully, deafness seems to occur simultaneously with heartbreak so Kagiso did not hear Siyanda’s conversation.

Siyanda gets her way

Ever since Kagiso proposed to Siyanda – under extreme coercion by Harriet – he has been tolerating his fiancée, in much the same way you would put up with a skunk if you were stuck inside a faulty elevator with the creature. Despite the marriage proposal, they sleep in separate bedrooms and last kissed during Jacob Zuma’s presidential term. It is, after all, a marriage of convenience. On the other hand, Siyanda was as thrilled as Meghan Markle marrying that mischievous redhead Prince. She demanded an engagement ring and a big photoshoot, featuring the longsuffering Kagiso who had to kneel and propose all over again for the camera. Ever resourceful, she managed to get Goodness’ new phone number off Kagiso’s handset and sent the engagement pictures, to make sure Goodness got the message, if not to simply spite her rival. A low blow, but I don’t blame Siyanda. I mean, she has already lost one man to Goodness – remember Thabiso, her baby daddy – and losing Kagiso to the Mabuza girl would have been a painful case of déjà vu. Dingane, who grew up without his father, advised Kagiso to put his unborn child ahead of his own interest. Also, the fact that Goodness has made up her mind to leave town further swayed Kagiso. Perhaps a case of if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. [Insert shoulder shrug emoji]

It may have begun as a marriage of convenience but Sigaqagaqa has decided to make it a real union.

Siyanda’s scheming appears to have worked. However, as long as Phathu Makwarela has the pen in his hand, we can expect another plot twist.

Till next week, my pen is capped



Video from Mzansi Magic YouTube

Image from Ferguson Films

The Queen airs weekdays at 9pm on Mzansi Magic

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